Mist Rock-The Hook

Hi again 🙂

Quick post that came to mind (also check out the homepage it’s fresh)

I often wonder, if my dreams came true, and I had to pick one or two lines to try best sell my story, which would those lines be. I’ve in some ways settled on the end of chapter 8, a chapter entitled “The First of the Thunder”.

Perhaps it’s fitting it ends on a rumbling note, a warning for the story to come. Enjoy!

Marke returned his gaze to the hill.

Soon, one shadow became clear. It was a solitary mounted figure, silhouetted against the pale ghost-light of a green dawn.

He swallowed.

Alongside him, Damir’s expression wavered too, but his eyes never left the hill far-off.

“They are the Exiles,” he said.

 

3 thoughts on “Mist Rock-The Hook

  1. If this is the point where danger is obviously imminent you may want to take it up a notch. I figure this is a first draft? If I am wrong, I apologize. I have only read a couple of posts.
    Also, not saying my work is better. It most certainly is not.
    My suggestion is about the name the exiles. It, to me, doesn’t sound dangerous. I hope there is more explanation as to why and how they’re dangerous before this part.
    I like the build up to the statement of the name. You are a good writer. You have what it takes to write a heart pounding, page turning novel. Keep up the great work.

    1. Hi Jen!

      Thanks for feedback.

      I wouldn’t say this is a point of imminent danger (in fact danger has just passed), but more a few lines that give a peek of the story and characters in it. The Exiles are fleshed out a lot more before this point in the story, so there would be some context as to why the revelation is big.

      Thanks so much for taking a look!

      Kyle

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